Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Catching a falling lesson
I posting this here because I do not know where else to vent my frustration and excess grief, for right now I am carrying a feeling I hate to deal with the most, remorse.Knocking the sides of my cast, I think at times how long it would take for me to be able to take it off and walk normally like I used to. Thinking how wonderful it would be if I actually get to participate in the Hall Olympiad tomorrow. Of how silly i used to think that I actually wished I get injured during practises when it get tough. It really didn't matter to me initially, but my heart swells up in my chest when I saw my peers in the cheer uniform which I often mock. I guess deep down I actually cared quite a bit.
A few hours ago, I was there to look at the final set-up and routine. It certainly was not the best, but the tinkling desire to be standing on the mats and manifesting jealousy that I am not, crossed my mind. It kind of brings me back to my life these two days, struggling to get to school, panting whenever I encounter staircase, feeling relieved every time I reached my destination. When I saw people jogging on my way back hall, it brings a depressing sink to my heart. I realised how much I had taken the simple privileges of my life for grunted.
Given another chance, I would probably train harder during my practices, focus harder while doing group stunts with my teammates. I was well aware when I saw her falling, I saw her body slant to my side, I just did not pay enough attention to catch her properly, allowing my body to slide down to the floor with her, not resisting the impact. Perhaps this is the price to pay for the enlightenment to take everything I do with greater zeal and seriousness.
I might sulk, I might grumble in my private time but I will be fine. I hope that this little lesson of mine would perhaps also help appreciate slightly better about the things around and what you are doing. It might not matters now, but do not wait until it is gone to realise how important it is. Sometimes, some things are closer to your heart than one could imagine.
made a wish at 4:20 AM
0 visitors came knocking on my door .. without presents
0 visitors came knocking on my door .. without presents
